My turmoil with the
preparatory institute continued in the ninth. After a two week break at the end
of the eighth grade, I started my preparations for an entrance exam I was going
to give four years later again. It was the first semester of the ninth grade
and I knew I was in trouble.
I followed the same pattern
of failing tests and rote-learning notes for the first semester of the ninth
grade. Depression was a natural side – effect of this environment.
Stand up for yourself Abhishek!
One day, I decided I had enough. It struck me that I
was not passionate about engineering and did not want to become an engineer.
Why in the world was I putting myself through this? Stand up for yourself
Abhishek!
The professors and teachers
were good and they were putting in a genuine effort to teach the subject well
to the students. The problem was with me.
I decided to speak to my
parents about it. They told me to work harder. I told them I really tried and
that I just could not do this anymore.
My Parents Understood
Finally, after I failed
another school test in the ninth grade, my parents were convinced and decided
to withdraw me from the program.
They told me they would shift
me to a normal class after the 1st semester. So I had to survive
three more weeks and another hard exam. I knew I could pull through, but the
fact that I was completing the program, was a good enough reason to somehow get through
this ordeal. At this point, I did not even care if I did well or not in class.
At the end of the first
semester, after one and a half year of preparatory school, my turmoil came to an end.
During the summer break I withdrew my name from the program and enrolled in a
normal class. I felt liberated. After one year, I could finally learn and work on something I was passionate about.
I was finally not one of the smart kids.
I was finally a normal student. Ah!
The Normal Class
Now I was joining a new class
in the second semester of the ninth grade. Most of the students had gotten to
know each other really well. I was new, so it would take me some time to
adjust. But I had a few friends from the junior school whom I knew well. I soon
settled down in the class and got to know some of my other classmates well.
Sports had taken a backseat
in the 8th Grade, because there were too many tests and exams to
prepare for. My free time had reduced now. This was
limited to the weekends. The curriculum had gotten much harder in the ninth
grade. I managed to do reasonably well in tests and spend some of my weekends
completing notes and studying the course content I had missed out on.
The second semester in the
ninth grade, was mostly about completing notes, extra coaching classes and
learning my subjects from scratch. The competition in my class was still the
same, though it was a little less than my previous entrance exam class.
The Joy of Being Normal
One month later I managed to catch up and was performing reasonably well in class. I now finally
had some time off in the evenings. I thought I could spend on other after
school activities. Unfortunately the ground next to my home, had been converted
into a building. I grew up playing cricket at this ground with my neighborhood friends. This was not possible anymore.
I had to find other ways to entertain myself.
This was real hard work for a ninth grader, who had just gone through, a
complete year of depression and low self esteem. But I had some ideas. I knew
it would be fun. I at least had the freedom to choose what I wanted to do with
my time now.
Let us Learn Together
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