Thursday, December 17, 2015

On Conversations that lead to nowhere

We were strolling around some back street of a village in Kerala. Jal Jeera Soda and some Indian sweetmeats were what we had for lunch that day. What dreams I had? I thought every meal in Kerala would be about eight variety banana leaf platters with chutneys from different corners of Kerala. But things don't always work out the way they have too. We settle for less. A lot less. My friend decides to take me to a well known local folklore museum. I get excited. Yes, let's do this. Time to explore and see cool places. Yay! At the entrance of the museum, an hour later, we find out that museum had been closed down for the day. I try being positive, but yes, this was bad. We sit by the highway outside the museum. We wait for a bus back to his home outside the museum. The next bus takes an hour to come. I ask my friend,

'So, how is college going for you? All Good?'

-Yeah, it's alright. Don't enjoy the classes too much though. I have a few friends. But yeah, looking back, I wish I chose another university now. I know it is hard. You know in the movies, they tell you, that the friends you make at college, will be your closest friends. Friends that you can call at 3 am in the night for any problem you have. You know them?
Yeah, What about them?

-Umm, I don't have any such friends'

I didn't know what to tell him. I was not an expert on this subject. I was not an expert on friendship. Hell I didnt even have too many 3 am friends myself. So I just shut my mouth and looked down the never ending highway and saw one car after another zoom by...

Sometimes I wonder, what do people speak about when you run out of things to speak about. 

Like when you have updated each other about your personal lives, your work life, your interests, your current projects, what then? You wait for the other person, to bring something up. Say something. Let us not do the awkward silence thing, where we eventually have to say something stupid to break it up.

But that day, the conversation with my friend, sitting by the highway, was quite different. We just laughed and spoke our hearts out too each other. We knew we came from a point of no judgement. I was not even thinking. Everything was so spontaneous. We soon manage too catch a bus from the highway and reach home two hours later. Over dinner at his home that night, I am part of another beautiful conversation, with my friend's family. It was one of those useless pointless conversations about the food we were having that night and every ingredient used to make it, the weather, family problems, places to travel to and more. I love such conversations. Useless pointless conversations that lead to nowhere

I slept like a baby that night. Just listening to somebody and having a deep conversation with any human, is such a beautiful fulfilling experience. To just know that someone out there is listening to you, makes you feel special. Makes you feel like you matter. 

I buy my hosts a little gift, and thank them for their love and hospitality. I give my friend a bro hug and tell him to just hang in there. It is confusing now. But things get better, they do. Just never stop asking stupid questions, that mean the world to you. I smile and walk towards the closest bus station, to catch a bus to the nearest train station. I caught a train to my next destination. That night I wondered, do I need to heed my own advice. Maybe things seem chaotic now.  But they do get better. I just need to ask stupid questions and find more stupid answers to them. I go to sleep on the train thinking about the stupid questions of my life. I didn't think up too many.


No comments:

Post a Comment