Thursday, December 17, 2015

Train to Kochi and Meditating on Trains

What do you do, when you have four hours to your next destination and your phone, e-reader and all other equipment, are out of charge. Added to this the thought of taking out your chargers at the bottom of your backpack. To get to them, you will have to first go through six other bags of clothes and other luggage. Oh! the pain of pulling all those things out, just for a charger. Ah! I'm too lazy. I'm just going to find other ways to entertain myself.

I'm just going to meditate for the next four hours. Greatest idea in the world. I am focused for the next five minutes. This is how you start all those big goals you set for your life. Like becoming fit. Let us run a marathon. You put your sports shoes on and run outside your home. You then run the first hundred metres at the speed of light (in your head). Then you realize you have to run 10 kilometers. That is like 10,000 meters. Holy Shit. You stop. Sit Down. Whine for a while and then walk back home. So meditation on the train. You know the drill, close your eyes, focus on your breathing, slow down your breathing, and then slowly breathe in and breathe out. I do not know where I learned this, but the trick is too be an observer of your thought. 

Don't stop thinking.
But let thinking happen and you be the observer. As you breathe slowly, keep your focus, on the part of your face above your nose and between your eyebrows. This is it. I am going to become Siddhartha in the next four hours. Siddhartha, I need to buy that book by Hermen Hesse. Hmm, maybe the secret of enlightenment is in that book. Book. Ah! I need to buy so many books. All the people I have met along the way, have linked me to so many interesting books and movies. I wish I had my internet with me. I could check some of them up on Amazon. Hmm. Oh Shit! I was supposed to meditate. What in the world am I doing? Focus, you idiot! breathe, breathe, breathe. Ah, It is too hot here. Why is the fan not working. Arrghh, stupid train and stupid people talking so loudly around me. Can't they let me focus. I want to be enlightened. Well, they don't know I am meditating. I wonder how Siddhartha did it? Did he like draw a sign, telling humans and animals to keep away. He did this for six years. Six years!

I cannot meditate now. Shit. So unfocused. Such a useless human being. Still three hours thirty minutes to go. Why does time move so slowly? Hurry up already. Why am I so restless all the time? Why can't I not do anything, for ten minutes. It is kind of scary. The fact that I cannot stay calm and silent for even ten minutes. I always have to occupy my mind with something or the other. I always have to do something or the other. I never have any space to think about thinking. Urghh. Why do you want to do that? That will involve more thinking. That is not what you want. You want a feeling of thoughtlessness. Is that even possible? I wish Siddhartha was alive. Why didn't he leave behind a three step process to become enlightened? It would make things so much easier. The pains of being a seeker. A Lazy seeker-,- The funny part is, I don't even know what I am looking for.

What, only five minutes went by? I thought I did at least one hour of worthless thinking. I am going to get so bored. Ah! I climb down from my top bunker and decide to walk around the train. At least now, I won't have to be in my mind. People on the train are always doing some thing. It is interesting to observe them. If you get bored with one individual, observe another person. As simple as that. Don't focus on thing too long. Instant gratification and sensation is what you are on the lookout for.

We are one hour away from our destination. I go to the entrance of my coach and stand by the open door. We are in Kerala, 'God's own country'. Villages, Flora, Waterbodies pass by. One more different than the other. Cows are seen grazing in the open fields. The landscape is very different from the vast farmlands of western India. Some huts are located right next to the railway track. I wonder how they bear the noise. They leave their doors wide open. Inquisitive passengers on passing trains, can see everything happening inside their house. Would I be okay with that?


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