As my two companions go off to
sleep that night, I sit on the couch and play some light music on my laptop. It
is 2 am, on the 5th Floor of a hotel in Trivandrum. How in the world did I end
up here? Where did I go wrong? I don't even know what I did wrong. Why am I
even thinking about all this? This trip has been the best thing that has
happened to me over the past three to four years. These most uncertain years of
my life, transitioning between late adolescence and adulthood. Family, School,
Peers and Solitude are the four major influences in an adolescents life. The
first three are external determinants. The last aspect an internal determinant.
For a long time, most of my actions were largely based on what the external
determinants demanded of me. Recently, I have realized that the internal
determinant, is equally if not more important than the first three. I was very
uncomfortable being alone. I was scared I would get bored and then would not
know what to do. Boredom was a sign, of my engagement in tasks that did not
engage me. But I had no autonomy and control over my time. I had to go to
school, I had to be around family and I was largely influenced by the peers
that surrounded me. I gave these aspects more importance, than who I actually
was as an individual. Thus, I had to jump and often change identities. I had no
set definition of who I was. I was a different person with my peers and a
different person at home.
This created a lot of conflict within me. Why do
people's expectations of you, keep changing? Why do we humans have so many mood
changes? You can never predict accurately, what this other person you care for,
is thinking about. One day they want something, the next they want another
thing. Urgh, human relationships are such a pain. I wish I did not have to
depend on other people so much. Maybe this will happen, when I have a field of
interest, I am really passionate about. Eventually I need to get the education
and skills, to make this field of interest my career and life goal. Then I will
be free from all those external determinants. I will have something I have
control over. It is so much better than relationships that have these ups and
downs often.
I doze off on the couch, that
night.
I am woken up, by the chatter of my
traveling companions. My aunt and her daughter are getting ready. We plan to go
to the mighty Shri Padmanabhan Temple, here in Trivandrum. There is a legend
associated with the temple. The Maharaja of Travancore conquered several rich
neighboring towns and made a large fortune from trade of spices in the
eighteenth century. He donated large amounts of wealth to the temple for its
development. The temple is considered one of the richest Hindu temples in the
world. The principal deity of the temple is Lord Vishnu. Every male devotee
must wear traditional clothing, to enter
the temple. So aunty helps me put on my traditional outfit. After some light
breakfast, at the cafeteria downstairs, we head to the temple.
The first thing I observe, as we
enter the temple compound, is the unique style of architecture that most
temples in South India have. This temple was also built based on the Dravidian
architectural model, that mainly comprises pyramid type structures built of
sandstone, granite or soapstone. Stone murals that represent an object or story
from the myths of the temple deity. What fascinated me most about the
structure, was how inconsistent some of the stone murals carved on the
structure were. On one side of the pyramid structure, there would be two little
boys playing, on the other side there would be a farmer and his cattle. Above
this stone mural, there would be a carving of a king with his subjects in a
courtroom. It was like there was a story, that was being told through these
stone carvings. I just wanted to observe and understand each of the murals on
the pyramid tops of these temples. They were just so beautiful. Later I find
out, that the Angkor Wat in Cambodia and the Prambanan in Indonesia were built
based on Dravida Architecture.
We buy a plate of prasad and offerings, deposit our chapals at the gate and walk in. The black stone floor feels cold on the sole of your foot. You feel instantly dwarfed as you enter the temple. The hollow top of the temple above you, adds to the grandiose of the environment. We are guided to a line for devotees. It starts at a point, and then moves ahead in a zig zag pattern, divided by steel stands. Everyone is dressed in a similar way. Men in lungs and women in saris. Electric Fans and Steel containers of drinking water are placed at periodic intervals. The line moves ahead at a very slow pace. Every step bringing you closer, to the main prayer area. An hour later, we take a turn into a new room and I feel we have reached the prayer room. But then we enter the room, and I see another six lanes of people, waiting to enter another room up ahead. We reach the prayer room, and i see the priests up front, taking the plates of devotees and putting a red powder like substance on each devotee's head in return. We keep walking ahead and then our turn comes. The structure of the temple deity can be seen upfront. I fold my hands in respect, and say a silent prayer.
We buy a plate of prasad and offerings, deposit our chapals at the gate and walk in. The black stone floor feels cold on the sole of your foot. You feel instantly dwarfed as you enter the temple. The hollow top of the temple above you, adds to the grandiose of the environment. We are guided to a line for devotees. It starts at a point, and then moves ahead in a zig zag pattern, divided by steel stands. Everyone is dressed in a similar way. Men in lungs and women in saris. Electric Fans and Steel containers of drinking water are placed at periodic intervals. The line moves ahead at a very slow pace. Every step bringing you closer, to the main prayer area. An hour later, we take a turn into a new room and I feel we have reached the prayer room. But then we enter the room, and I see another six lanes of people, waiting to enter another room up ahead. We reach the prayer room, and i see the priests up front, taking the plates of devotees and putting a red powder like substance on each devotee's head in return. We keep walking ahead and then our turn comes. The structure of the temple deity can be seen upfront. I fold my hands in respect, and say a silent prayer.
We walk away after getting our blessings, a red
powder mark in the middle of our foreheads. It was quite the experience. We
click a picture in front of the temple and then get into our car. As we leave
the compound, I see the temple structure become smaller in the distance, until
it disappears along with the little dot like people entering it for the lord's
blessing.
Sat-chit-ananda
@AbhishekShetty_
Sat-chit-ananda
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