A Letter to my 17 year old self

I wish I judged myself less. I wish I let myself make more mistakes. I wish I was not always in such a hurry. There was something about the sea, and its vastness, its depth, its power, its control, that made me feel safe being close to it. I knew I would not be judged, if I expressed myself to the ocean. I would not matter so much to the vast sea. But in my head I would give this interaction full meaning. Meaning is a point worth considering.

But if I I am successful? Will it really mean anything?

What is success to me?

Money, Happiness, Fame, Recognition, Being Accepted. Is that it?

I feel like sometimes, it is this never ending chain of desire. I wish I could travel in time, see all of the follies of human civilization and then come back and tell my younger self, to not take things so seriously. Or maybe I should do things the other way around. I need to be like an in inhabitant of Plato's Cave. I am chained now, by the world and experiences around me. They seem enriching in this context. They seem secure. I break the chains one day, even with all the reprimands around me. What are you doing? Get back on track. Don't be stupid. But I go, not because I am stupid, but because I know there is more to life, than mere survival. Today, on this boat, on the Arabian sea, there is light all around me. It is not dark anymore. But sometimes, I wonder, what if I confirmed, and did not listen to the uncomforted the environment, cause my very being. If I stayed back, for the sake of safety. I pull out my notebook and pen, we are three hours into the journey, and I write this letter from my 21 year old self to my 17 year old self,

'Dear Abhishek,

Hey there. I hope the end of school is going alright. you must be busy with preparing for your final exam and applying to universities. Some of your friends, have already got through top universities. You are a little worried, because your plan does not seem so sorted. You also realize that you had not put too much thought into what course you wished to pursue at college. You wonder why?

I don't have an answer to that question. I am your future self, I am a result of the decisions you make today. I know what will happen. But I cannot share that with you. For you need to discover the path on your own. But there are a few things I would like to leave behind with you,

1) Focus on what you love doing, do it religiously everyday, and find ways to give yourself the best opportunities to excel in that particular endeavor.

2) You know yourself, better than any other individual in the world. Don't give anyone else the right to make your decisions for you. Never let an external body grade you. Don't be worried, if people judge you for who you are. Maybe, they do not know where you come from. They do not know every single experience you have been through growing up that has made you the person you are today. Forgive them and love them nonetheless.  They have their own journeys to travel. 

3) Love Honestly and Passionately. Always come from a place of love. Whether its work or people. Never manipulate situations. Don't be a scary person. Be human. Having 5 people you love you with a full heart, is much better, than having 100 people you love with a half heart. Come to the work of your life everyday, with utmost care and love and respect. Start work early in the day. Rise with the rising sun. Rest with the falling sun.

4) There is no hurry. You do not have to run behind a moving train. The problem, with being the richest person, in this planet, is that only one person, will achieve that target. Be happy first, find a field where you feel most satisfied adding value.  Train yourself to develop expertise and credibility in that field. There will always be a course and there will always be people willing to teach you what you need to know. If you miss an opportunity now, you have not lost the world. But if you find one field that you truly want to commit your life too, than you will be several notches ahead in your definition of success in life. This idea of success will not be externally determined, but will be based on standards you have set for yourself and that is why, it will be so much more fulfilling. Then it will not be a matter of time and getting a thousand things done in 10 or more fields in a few years. But it will rather be a matter of turning up everyday, and giving your best in all the little small tasks that make up the one field you have committed your life too.'

Sat-chit-ananda

@AbhishekShetty_